The life of a somewhat confused teenager

It’s frustrating, really.

This whole growing up business.

Not just ‘growing up’ but leaving things behind.

I’m only 17 and I already have regrets.

What’s up with that?

But I’ve already been over this.

Tonight I went to the Cross Country Awards.

I lettered.

This is a huge thing for me.

This sport has given me so much.

I have made some of the best friends of my life, met amazing people, learned things about myself and others, the value of teamwork and drive, why people love something and pursue it, and countless life lessons.

It is the best decision I have ever made.

But.

That being said.

I realized something.

No tears were shed because Track is just around the corner.

But everyone is leaving.

Or they will one day.

Or will get left behind.

I’m going to graduate and go to college.

I’m leaving home and many friends.

And that terrifies me.

Completely.

I can’t imagine leaving people behind.

It seems like everyone’s going to be dead and I’ll never see them ever again.

It scares the shit out of me.

There is so much I want to do that I haven’t done.

My lack of drive is to blame for that.

But it’s one of the reasons I ran XC.

I know now that anything worth doing is worth the effort.

Anything in life that is worth doing it worth the effort.

That’s why I’m moving on.

Song of the Day: Með blóðnasir - Sigur Rós

• November 29, 2011

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